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 Oz Rinea Application

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Oz Rinea
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Number of posts : 12
Age : 23
Registration date : 2009-02-22

PostSubject: Oz Rinea Application   Mon Feb 23, 2009 4:00 pm

Character Template
Name: Oz Rinea

Age: 13

Gender: male

Village: Leaf

Appearance:Sgnature

Likes: (1)Hot Girls

Dislikes: (1)Disgusting Foods

Personality: Likes To Flirt With Girls He Find Hot Or Attractive And will take any chance he gets,he does his missions the way he wants to by going off alone.Likes to Be Alone Mostly While He Trains Or Rests.Doesnt get along well with other boys who talk to the girl he likes,in a fight he will at some points panic in fear that he will die due to lack of strength but eventualy overcomes it by telling himself he will win.

Nindo: I never Go back On My Word.

History: A Normal genin with Above Average Brain Power and Physical power.Oz Was Born Into The Rinea Family,His Mother Was An Uchiha and Died After Child Birth And had her eyes implanted into Oz's For Oz Was Born Blind Now Having two tomoe sharingan it takes much chakra.Oz Not Able to Use Them to Well runs out of chakra Quickly had gone through immense training to increase his chakra level to be able to use them in a fight.He Passed out of the academy at the top of his class.His first mission as a genin was quite easy to him and diffucult for other,the mission was to escort a Princess to a nearby village,being able to use the Sharingan he was able to fight more gracefully then his comrades leading the mission to success.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[posted in second post]

Ninja Area

Element: Lightning

Rank: Genin

Skill: Ninjutsu

Clan: None

Jutsu:

(Use this when posting Justu)
Name:Thunder Saber
Rank:D
Point cost:20
Type:Ninjutsu
Element:Lightning
Description:The user will generate lightning in their hand and then strike their target, causing an explosive impact.The jutsu Takes Up Minor Chakra Usage.

Name: Bolt Charge
Rank:D
Pointcost:20
Type:Ninjutsu
Element:Lightning
Description:Increases The Users Agility To Make Handseals and Be able to run faster,The Jutsu Takes up a larger portion of chakra about 1/12

Name:Herriar Charge
Rank:D
Pointcost:20
Type:Taijutsu
Element:None
Description:Used in Succsesion With Bolt Charge Able to Use A Strong Tackle to The Wind Pipe To Cut of the Enemies Breathing,This Jutsu Doesnt take much chakra.

Name:WindMill Slash
Rank:D
Pointcost:20
Type:taijutsu
Element:None
Description:The User will Use Several Shuriken with wires attached to confuse the opponent thus sneaking upon them knocking them into the air with a strong kick then pulling the user to the ground using the shuriken wires wrapped around them. this jutsu takes up minor chakra

Name:Sharingan
Rank:Clan
Pointcost:20
type:Clan
Element:None
Description:Allows the user to read movements before they happen

Total Points used/left:[b] 0

[b]Clan History: No Clan


Last edited by Oz Rinea on Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:44 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Sanbi
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Number of posts : 86
Registration date : 2009-02-19

PostSubject: Re: Oz Rinea Application   Mon Feb 23, 2009 5:11 pm

-The part where it says [Posted in second post]....you're suposed to post it in a second post.

-I'd like to see some personality from you. Basicly, all we know now is that Oz likes girls and doesn't like other boys, probably because they interfere with his flirting. There are tons of other things you could tell us about Oz, right?

-He's 13 years old. He'll need a longer history then this. About 2 or 3 paragraphs should do.

Quote :

Name: Bolt Charge
Rank:D
Pointcost:30
Type:Ninjutsu
Element:Lightning
Description:Increases The Users Agility To Make Handseals and Be able to run faster

Name:Herriar Charge
Rank:D
Pointcost:30
Type:Taijutsu
Element:None
Description:Used in Succsesion With Bolt Charge Able to Use A Strong Tackle to The Wind Pipe To Cut of the Enemies Breathing

Also, I bid you to add more detail to your technique's descriptions. How much chakra does it use. What are the downsides. What are its strong points. Your techniques descriptions consist out of 1 sentence. A small paragraph is what you should try to achieve.
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Oz Rinea
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Number of posts : 12
Age : 23
Registration date : 2009-02-22

PostSubject: Re: Oz Rinea Application   Tue Feb 24, 2009 7:40 pm

Better?
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Sanbi
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Number of posts : 86
Registration date : 2009-02-19

PostSubject: Re: Oz Rinea Application   Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:35 am

To my likeings, there should still be more of everything. But yes, its better than before.

I see you've added the Sharingan in your history though. You'll have to add that as a jutsu, as well as give us more explenation about it. Since they were implemented, do they wear him out quickly? Is he able to use them at their full extend? How many tomoes do they have?
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Oz Rinea
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Number of posts : 12
Age : 23
Registration date : 2009-02-22

PostSubject: Re: Oz Rinea Application   Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:41 pm

ok and the sharingan was there from the beginning
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Oz Rinea
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Number of posts : 12
Age : 23
Registration date : 2009-02-22

PostSubject: Re: Oz Rinea Application   Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:41 am

so is this good now?
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Oz Rinea
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Number of posts : 12
Age : 23
Registration date : 2009-02-22

PostSubject: Re: Oz Rinea Application   Fri Feb 27, 2009 1:45 pm

hllo?
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Sanbi
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Number of posts : 86
Registration date : 2009-02-19

PostSubject: Re: Oz Rinea Application   Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:06 pm

Try looking at Shade's application for a proper template of the sharingan. His is, I must day, way better than yours. Other than that, despite the fact it may need a little work here and there, I think this application is good to go. Just look at the sharingan jutsu form for me, and I will approve you after you replaced your current one with that one.

Note: His sharingan may have an other jutsu point cost than your current one. Take that in acount.
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