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 Reiko's RP Sample

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Reiko
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Number of posts : 14
Age : 27
Registration date : 2009-02-25

PostSubject: Reiko's RP Sample   Thu Feb 26, 2009 9:12 pm

It was a cloudy afternoon in the lakes of Kirigakure, nothing out of the ordinary was a concern during the storm. The fishes swam in schools while the academy students trained near the lakes and some in the water, but a strange wind was blowing. Reiko was laying on her back as she floated along the lake, " Hmm why does the water seem odd" Reiko said as she slowly tapped the water with her finger and watched the odd sound wave being creating. Her hands then folded and rested on her stomach as she floated . " Reiko we have a problem" yelled one the students as he ran up to her on the side of the lake "What's the problem" Reiko says as she sinks into the water and then resurfaces. The Student grabbed Reiko by the hand and lead her to where some students were being attack by bandit.

“What do you guys want” Reiko said as she quickly got the injured child and placed him on the floor with the others " Its none of your business you urchin now begone" yelled out the bandit as he pointed and laughed at her. Reiko was looking at the bandit " Notice that a bandit that doesn't wear a shirt thinks to much of himself " Reiko said as she acted like a teacher in front of the students which made them laugh . The bandit was in a great deal of anger when he heard how Reiko acted, " You little girl I'll kill you" Yelled the bandit as he rushed her. She quickly took a step to the side and jumped into the air, " now to take you out with my trusted weapon" Reiko said as she grabbed for her weapon but realized that she didn't have it on her. He abruptly stood up and spun around and grabbed and threw her into the floor.

“Child your as weak as you look" said the Bandit as he laughed at Reiko. "In fact, I’ll show you that a girl like you is more suitable as a regular girl.” " How dare you speak to me like that" Reiko jumped up and sweep kick . Then, he disappeared after Reiko’s kick him. Reiko looked around to see where he was and within the second she let down her guard the bandit came from behind and was about to strike until one of he student through a kunai and pushed him to the floor.

“Seems like you lost to an academy student.” Reiko laughed as she patted the student on his head whispered to himself. " You made a big mistake challenging me in the first place runt, I'll make sure you pay" He said as he threw a smoke bomb in the midst of them and ran off. “Don't wprry about I'll be waiting for you next time and then you better bring more strength" She said coughing and blowing the smoke away with her hand " Um..Reiko are we in trouble" said one of the students, " No, you guys did good I'll promise i'll tell your teacher that you guys saved me from that bandit" she said smiling and began walking back to the academy with them " But next time I should bring my weapon and not be dumb and forget" She thought as she laughed
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Sanbi
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Number of posts : 86
Registration date : 2009-02-19

PostSubject: Re: Reiko's RP Sample   Mon Mar 02, 2009 12:18 pm

I will give you Chuunin level on this one. You're obviously better than a Genin. Still, the grammar feels slightly.....odd at some points. Also, I would have preferred a shorter story with more detail. Roleplaying is all about the detail. That the bandit had his shirt of, for an example, was an exelent piece of detail. There would be a lot more to tell about this criminal though.

So:
Chuunin
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